Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
