I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
My bed smells like the plague
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
