Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
