You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
