Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
