nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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