why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
