yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
