Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
