Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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