Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
She announced her abortion via fbk
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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