i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
