If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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