So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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