From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
