Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
