she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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