My sheets look like a crime scene.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
