do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Reggie can tackle my bush.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
