Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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