At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
