PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
