can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
