it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
