Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
