Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
