u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i love accidental penises.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Randomize
