And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
