Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
