They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
