I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
