It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
