4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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