This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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