Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
So much Jack, so little girl.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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