What a fucking waste of an outfit
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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