8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I wish there were birth control emojis
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
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