...so i touched it.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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