Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
