and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
