so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
