she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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