You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
