im drinking this country out of the recession.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
