dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
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