am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Sorry my hands just texted you
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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