All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
