If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
