i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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