I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
